The Topic of Conversation at Dinner
If you aren’t the topic of dinner conversation the other 364 days of the year, you are on the day of the big discussion. Happens once a year. Possibly tied to an annual increase. Almost always results in discouragement. Everyone dreads it and if they tell you otherwise, they are lying!
People everywhere are saying, “I had my performance review today”.
Yes, it is that time of year when leaders gear up for the big performance discussion. By this point your performance ratings have been long since entered, you survived calibration meetings, changes have been made so there is a perfect bell curve, approvals have been given by senior leadership, and everyone is beyond frustrated. Now you get to sit down with your employee and provide a summary of their performance for the past year, set aside your frustration, and hopefully find a way to keep them motivated.
We probably all have a memory of the worst performance review we ever received, and it likely had nothing to do with our performance but rather the lack of delivery by our leader. My particular favorite was the year my boss handed me the annual performance document and said, “sign this, it’s due today”. Wow, that was impactful. Actually it was, I immediately started my job search.
What makes this annual exercise a value add for the leader or employee? No seriously. I’m asking. Because after 20+ years, I haven’t figured it out.
I have spent many years creating training, teaching courses, and coaching leaders on this very topic. I remember very early in my career, we purchased books for our leaders that provided, “the best phrases for performance reviews”. The book was categorized with countless egregious performance topics and a cornucopia of “effective” ways to deliver the news. The leader would simply select the category of failure, look through the options and copy the one that most resonated with them. (no. you will not find this book listed in my resource list! :-))
The truth is, the annual discussion is pointless if there hasn’t been a series of consistent meaningful discussions throughout the year. Your ability to do this in a meaningful way has nothing to do with the rating and everything to do with the relationship you have with your employees. If you have a strong trusting relationship with your employees, the discussion is easy.
Like any other conversation, the annual performance review should be a dialogue - an exchange between two people. What this means in practice is that you should be listening as much as you are talking. It should not be a monologue and you should not be talking at your employee, rather talking with them. Incorporate the following coaching tips to improve the effectiveness of your performance discussions.
Leadership Coaching Tips:
Continuous and consistent, is key to effective performance discussions. It starts on day 1 by setting expectations, creating goals / objectives, and meeting regularly to discuss performance and progress.
Build a trusting relationship where employees are comfortable talking about their strengths and opportunities for improvement, sharing failures and learning from them, and where they can admit to the challenges they are having.
Use curiosity as a way to encourage dialogue during your meeting. The key to using curiosity is your ability to withhold judgement. Here are just a few open-ended questions you might want to ask during your discussion:
How do you feel about your accomplishments this year?
What are you most proud of accomplishing this year?
What did you find most challenging (or frustrating) to achieve?
What do you hope to do less of next year?
Other resources:
Proven Ways to Earn Your Employees’ Trust
The Secret to Giving Great Feedback
Help them Grow or Watch them Go
Do you have a difficult performance review to deliver this year?
I want to support you by providing you with a free 45-minute coaching session where we will partner to make sure you are set up for a successful discussion with your employee. Together we will make sure you are not the horrible topic of discussion at your employees dinner table!
Use the button below to schedule a free session with me.
