A Matter of Confidence
It’s just a feeling. Confidence. No different than any other feeling - insecurity, pride, disappointment, bravery.
con·fi·dence /ˈkänfəd(ə)ns/ noun
- a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances
- faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
Do you believe that confidence is only possible after the fact, that confidence only comes from experience?
While experience can breed confidence, it can also come from within - your attitude, awareness, and belief. You can create your own confidence without experience. As the definition states, confidence is a “feeling” and we can conjure that up intentionally.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being very high), rate your ability to conjure up high confidence when you need it.
Confidence is internal, yet we often allow it to be driven by external factors. The best way to increase your overall confidence is to increase your level of awareness, accept yourself for “who you are”, and have faith in your ability to handle what comes your way.
Your own thoughts drive how you feel - positive feelings of success, peace, and power are all thoughts that can ignite your confidence. Regardless of the circumstances, you get to determine how you show up. You can use your own positive feelings to “bounce back” from what you might perceive as a setback.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt
At one time or another, we have all believed we are not good enough, and we have been told to focus on our weaknesses and what is broken. It is time to focus on what is working. Here are a few exercises that can help you become more confident.
Become highly aware of all the ways in which you currently are successful. Practicing and recognizing those tasks will allow you to be aware of all the ways you are already competent and able to handle whatever situations come your way. Make a list of the ways in which you’re currently successful. What qualities, traits, and beliefs allow you to experience those successes? Believe in your ability to create what you want and transfer this confidence from one area of life to another.
Stress is caused when we experience worry, doubt, or fear and it detracts from confidence. Make a list of all the thoughts that create stress and tension for you in the course of a week. Pick the most stressful item and come up with a plan to confidently deal with it. Write out your plan and note the results you get as you execute your plan. Know that you have the ability to effect change in any situation.
Resiliency is the ability to recover from “setbacks”. Become a master (Mastery Orientation) by choosing to focus on continuous improvement and not letting outcome measures get in the way. Learn and grow from any outcome and maintain a great attitude. With a mastery mindset, all experiences are learning opportunities. Consider a time when you faced adversity, how did you handle it? What helped you move forward? What would you have liked to have done differently? Instead of waiting for something good to happen to bring confidence, choose to create it, even when you face adversity.
What would be different if you were more confident?
Confidence starts with your own level of awareness, your acceptance of “what is” and your ability to make intentional decisions for yourself. Kick start the process by completing the ELI assessment and create an action plan as a result of your personalized debrief.
