I have always been one to practice the idea of “less is more”. I like things simple, I hate clutter, and I firmly believe that when things are easy, people are more likely to do it. You will notice this in my home, my office, and I even practice this in my exercise regimen - I do two things consistently. I am drawn to books like, Subtract. The Untapped Power of Less, by Leidy Klotz and Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown.

It is a normal practice in coaching (and even training courses) to close the session by creating an action plan that will lead to goal achievement. It is an activity that has been proven to increase the odds of success. The majority of the time an action plan is a list of things to begin doing - “Once a week, I will. . .”, “Everyday for an hour, I will. . .”, “During my next meeting, I will. . .” The question I have is, “what are you going to stop doing to make room for all the doing?” When does it end? You can’t just keeping piling on more and more. In the book, Subtract. The Untapped Power of Less, Leidy Klotz’s research shows that whether we’re building Lego models, cities, grilled-cheese sandwiches, or strategic plans, our minds are wired to add before we subtract.

Improving listening skills comes up a lot in coaching and it’s a great example of when applying the less is more concept, is the best approach. To be a good listener, you must stop doing EVERYTHING else. Stop thinking about what you want to say, stop thinking about what your response will be, stop judging the person’s intention, stop assuming. . .and the list goes on. Most of us are bad listeners - I know this is true. I see proof everyday. During a coaching session, I can literally do nothing for 45 minutes but listen to a client and at the end of the session they will be so thankful for having the opportunity to be heard. Imagine the impact you can have by improving your listening skills.

Today, more than ever before, there are so many distractions. Listening is really difficult. If you listen you will find that people will tell you everything you need to know. They will share what is on their mind, how they are feeling about it, why it is important and they will even tell you how they can fix it - you just need to listen. Most people think that a good listener is someone who:

• Is quiet

• Uses body language and verbal "Mmm-Hmm's"

• Can repeat what was said

It’s not that these things are bad, they are signs of listening but, there is a lot more to consider. Consider these four levels of listening.

Listening for the pause: Level 1 listeners wait for the other person’s lips to stop moving, so that they can tell them what they think.

Waiting my turn: This is a slightly more effective version of level 1 listening. Level 2 listeners hear what the other person is saying. Then, they tell them what they think.

Reflective listening: Level 3 is active listening. The listener hears what another says in order to understand what they mean. After someone speaks, they confirm understanding by reflecting back to them what was just heard. At this level, they are seeking to understand.

Empathetic listening: This is the deepest, and most powerful, form of active listening. When listening at this level, you will understand what someone is saying, how they mean it and how they feel about it. When it’s a person’s turn to respond, you confirm understanding of what was said and how the speaker feels about what was said.

Challenge: During conversations over the next week, be intentional about listening at level 3 and 4. At least once each day, practice empathetic listening where you verbally confirm what you hear and what you sense they are feeling. Take note of any differences you notice about the interaction.

Remember, when it comes to listening, less is more. Stop doing everything else and just listen.

Other Resources:

Subtract. The Untapped Power of Less - Book

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less - Book

What is Your Listening Style? - Article